yes, it's me once again spouting my apologies on a hungover/drunk Sunday morning. I have no idea what that last sentence meant. I was trying to roll with it and come up with something to apologize for, but I couldn't think of anything. It may be the forty beers I drank last night. I didn't even know my own name. So, I went to San Francisco last weekend. I'm scouting it out because I'm moving. It may be a huge mistake. I've never felt so at home in any other place other than LA, but still all the same, I'm ready for a change, and I'm sick of the weather, and even worse, I'm sick of people pretending they like it. Sunny weather is like live music. Nobody enjoys it, but they go all out to convince each other they do. Los Angeles is chock full of lame-o-s. Full to the brim. People from here are great, but it's just the people that move here from other parts of the country, and they're so concerned with acting "LA" whatever in the fuck that means. LA is open to anything, but apparently its biggest draw is people that come here to act trendy. These days, I think it includes wearing a t-shirt, jeans, blue sunglasses, and for some inexplicable reason, a scarf even though it's hot. I've been putting together a science fiction story where I'm the dictator of California, and I have all these crazy laws. First of all, using the word, "dude" gets you tortured to death personally by my own hands. This dude thing is mass hysteria. When will y'all wake up and realize that you sound like total fucking dipshits when you say dude? You sound like your vocabulary is created by watching television. Yeah, maybe it's true that people in sitcoms sound cool saying that in your mind, but in real life, you sound like a fuking asshole. Grade A asshole, and once I'm the dictator of California, I will take great pleasure in inflicting extreme pain on y'all stupid ass motherfuckers. Death by a thousand cuts. So, anyway, San Francisco is chock full of lame-o-s too, but they know they're lame. Women look at me like a peice of meat. rotten meat. that dish festering in their refrigerators. It looks so enticing but tastes delicious. especially its penis. I like the Palestinian scarf trend. I saw a woman in LA wearing one of those, and I told her, "Let me geuss, you live in San Francisco." "How did you know?" she asked. because you're a trendy-ass-motherfucker who has absolutely no appreciation for any kind of originality. She informed me that I was wrong as she took a sip from her Starbucks cup, began text messaging, and put those big stupid looking sunglasses and that big stupid fucking looking hat on. The Tomatoes repellent. Yeah, fuck you Blossom. I didn't want to fuck you anyway. I'm just kidding. I really did want to fuck you before you put the hat on. If you knew me only by my blogs, you would think I go around talking shit to everybody. I don't. That's the purpose of my blog. But the big sunglasses put a huge dent in my libido. Please stop. It will be punishable by death once I'm the dictator before I moved to California, I had this girlfriend, and i idolized her because she had this totally unique and sexy fashion, and then we moved to San Diego together, or rather I should say I followed her, and I felt like I got shot with a bb gun in the penis region once we went out in Hillcrest and Northpark and I realized her fashion was complete mimicry. I lost all respect for her. I told her to give me a ride to the Greyhound station. I was determined to go back to Texas. I was an idiot. I was 22. People that age act stupid. Almost as stupid as 31-year-olds. Now, she's back there. In fucking Texas. mandatory air conditioning. She has a baby. God bless vasectomies. You know what my dream is? To live in a child-less environment. Hollywood should be that. You would think all the debauchery would keep them away, but they're all over the place. And even worse, their parents are here constantly reminding you that you need to keep some sense of decorum. It's a bunch of bullshit if you ask me. I moved here for one reason and one reason only: to get out of Tijuana. But once I realized I was here, I understood what a beautiful place this could be; mandatory vasectomies for all. Once I'm the dictator, mandatory vasectomies for everyone. Doesn't matter if you're 8 or 80, you get a fucking vasectomy. Doesn't matter if you got anything to vasectomize, you get cut all the same. "But, I'm a woman!" I don't give a fuck. I'm the dictator and I whatever I say goes, and I say you get a vasectomy! And take those fucking sunglasses off! And anybody who pretends to like sunshine, I'm gonna chain them down on Vencie beach with manacles, and see how much they love that sunshiney weather bunch of pussy ass motherfucking air conditoned desk job working putos. You like sunshine? I'll tell you exactly why you like it. It's because your sitcom tells you you're supposed to. Execpt if you play Dungeons and Dragons; say dude to your heart's delight. mandatory dungeons and dragons. All people that play D&D have complete amnesty to the dictator's rules.