You’re going to love this story. I was a senior in high school, and girls were gawking me, and I told them, we can make this happen. I can take the flower away from you. My penis works way too well. This was back then when I could tell underage girls crude shit because I was underage too. I had a whole lot of libido going on. My mother constantly encouraged me to have sex with girls god bless her soul and to masturbate with enthusiasm. I was able to get off at least three times in a day if not 5 or 6. I was abusing my genitalia with perfection. Sam and I would go out every single night getting wasted until 3 in the morning and she would literally drag me out of bed in the morning. I think I was able to get away with it because I made all A’s and B’s, and I stank like beer like every Texan should. No matter if you’re sixteen years old. All Texan boys should smell like beer. That’s our fragrance So, anyway I was sitting over there in the corner, minding my own business reading a book like I usually would. There was these two girls that would gawk me really bad. Every fucking day, they would gawk me. And it wasn’t in the nice way either. I asked them if they wanted to fuck me and they just giggled and continued to gawk me day after day. By the way, if you haven’t already gathered this, I have absolutely no game. My pick up line was, "We’re gonna get some forties after school, You wanna hang out?" It never worked. So, anyway, these two girls were staring at me day after day, and I kept on asking them sexual questions. You see? I would duck out on Fridays to eat a hot dog like every self respecting Discordian should. OK, just stay with me. It’s gonna get better. So, one extremely hungover Thursday, they were staring at me like usual, and I was fed up. I couldn’t take it anymore. I took out my penis and balls, and showed it to them. Instantanouisly, they jumped up and told the teacher. It was a huge fiasco. There were parents involved. They wanted to expel me. I think the only thing that saved me was that I already got accepted to UT, and that’s how high schools determine their success: by how many people they send to collegge. I tolld them I didn’t do it. Fucking HPD came, and I told them I didn’t do it. Those girls never gawked me again.