I am the Doctor!, you sons of bitches! getting drunk with Suzy at Dolores Park on a Monday evening, and then I took out my sonic screwdriver, and then, uh uh uh, we did some G-rated ass shit, and some drunk teenagers smashed a beer bottle, and uh, I just you know like explained to them that I was a Time Lord. I'm from fucking Gallifrey! My name?.., You can just call me the Doctor. And they were placated. I told them that their world was in great danger. I attempted to save them, and the police box showed up. I almost tripped on my extremely long scarf or maybe I was just drunk. What was I talking about? Both of my hearts pumping. Yeah, that's it. That's what I was talking about. Wait. No, that wasn't it at all. I'm 750 years old; all the facts start to get confusing. Yeah, that's it! I'm just confused because I'm old! How come I didn't think of that excuse before? Well, why in the hell am I making excuses to y'all? I'm a Time Lord for shit's sake! And then, they didn't want to let me on the Tardis. They said I was too drunk, but then, they let me on, and then I shat myself on the plane going back to LA.